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Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
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The trouble with the Internet is that it\'s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
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To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
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Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
最終更新日 : 2012/05/09/(Wed) 07:43
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